...within two hours of landing in the city, car keys are thrust into your hand and you battle Gurgaon-mall traffic. Not just is it a Sunday, it's a long weekend and it's sale time. But full of newly-found Delhi spirit, you bravely navigate traffic and land in jam-packed DT City mall where tall, pretty girls jostle you, all the stores are full (even the ones selling pointy heeled shoes with roses elaborately patterned on them) and the line for sweet corn in cups is huge despite being exorbitantly priced for a measly amount.
But most of all you know you're in Delhi (well, Gurgaon anyway) in a stifling lift, three villagers are crushed at the back as the floor level sound increasingly mysterious: LG, UG, -1 and so on. Confused, the couple and their tiny kid miss their stop and then push to the front at the last minute as the doors are shutting. The tip-top Gurgaon mall shoppers disdainfully make way for them and then, as they leave, a fat (possibly rich) man in a bright red t-shirt says, rolling eyes heavenward, "Gee. Wake up! Smell the coffee dudes. God, what is with them?" proving the much-talked about schism between Old Guragon and New Gurgaon in a few pithy sentences.
Most-est-er of all you know you're in Delhi when your old maid makes your starch-white formal office shirt a merry polka dotted mass of Holi colours.
